3D Scanners – What Asses!

Just when I thought the only job that would quench my thirst for voyeurism was the highly under-rated profession of coaching female basketball, the Department of Homeland Security has used their brain yet again to introduce to us the fabulous idea of X-Ray scanners at airports. Every pubescent teen who wishes they had the power to see through women’s clothing will be running to the guidance counselor in search of the academic route to the only job in the world that will allow them to view booty from around the world… and get a decent little salary with it to boot. Pedophiles need not apply for this position though, Minors (Under 18) are exempt from giving up their rights, but that doesn’t mean security experts in Canada aren’t upset about it.

What’s a bit more interesting to me is how this new addition to Homeland Security’s arsenal is going to affect the egos of men on the lower end of the penis spectrum, but fret not young lads, you’ll have a whole flight to get over the embarrassment…. Not to mention you’ll be thousands of miles away from the bar the airport security officer will be scrutinizing your breakfast sausage at with co-workers after his/her shift.  If you just happened to be boarding a flight to Bangkok, you can pretty much guarantee that bastard didn’t pay for a drink all night.

For those of you who aren’t interested in being the source of someone’s cheap thrills, you can always opt for the classic “pat-down”. If you choose to go this route you’ll get a bit of bang for your buck, or shall I say “bang for your rights” in this situation. This is the perfect route for all of you respectable women out there who like having a hand slide up your thigh without the regret that comes with it the following day.

As always though, society will support whatever they are told will make them a little more “safe”… no matter the cost. The large majority of Canadians see no problem with this new technology being implemented into airports, and those who do oppose mostly fall into the “Over-65” category… silly bastards, living proof that technology and advancements in the way we teach our children today has increased our intelligence remarkably….

- The Angry Anarchist